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READING ROOM
2013 Australian Tour with Bam Margera - Blog by Glenn Stewart
Recovered Blog from 2013 from Aussie Tour Promoter Glenn Stewart
about working with Bam Margera (links at bottom)
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/////////[Part 1]\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Glenn's Guide To Everything
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February 15, 2013
The Best/Worst Tour Of My Life – Part 1
…Continued from ‘An Introduction to the Best/Worst Tour‘
The first show on this tour was a DJ set at Ding Dong Lounge in the
Melbourne CBD. It was a small venue that treated us greatly while
we were in town. Brandon Novak still hadn’t arrived in the country
and most of us were not even expecting him to get through customs
or even on the plane. Alex told me a story about Novak boarding a
plane and when the hostess told him about the rules and instructions
of the exit row he pulled down his sunglasses, looked at her and replied
“babe if this plane crashes we’re all going down”. Immediately Novak
was asked to leave the airport. I still hadn’t met Novak but was already
a bit worried what he’d be like on the tour. I told Alex Flamsteed, the
drummer of Guttermouth and partner in organising this tour, that I’m
not into Jackass shit. I don’t want to be woken up with a dildo in my
mouth or tasered in my sleep. That’s just not me. He assured me that
Novak was nothing like that and I wouldn’t have anything to worry
about. My arse did get tasered by Bam a few days later, but let’s save
that for later on down the blurry track.
The first show was probably the tamest for Bam, but also it made me
realise right away that this was going to be a fucking messy tour for
Alex. Slightly impressionable, light hearted, sometimes rude to people
but one of my closest friends; this tour is exactly what Alex wanted.
The DJ set started off great. Bam called his mother April (aka Ape) in
front of the entire audience and told her to say “hello” to Melbourne,
Australia. After her greetings the crowd loudly cheered and everyone
in the audience had a smile on their face. “Why aren’t you fucking
Phil?” shouts Bam as he wakes her up for her sleep. I am known some-
what as a softy and started getting goose bumps while this was happen-
ing. I took a deep breath and thought to myself that this is going to be a
great tour, with not too many hiccups. Alex was jumping off the railings,
feeding the crowd straight vodka and dancing like an idiot on stage –
something I’ve never seen him do. I still loved it at the time.
It seemed like a pretty normal night. I went to bed around 3am and was
looking forward to a nice sleep in before our road trip to Ballarat, Victoria
in the morning. I remember coming inside and accidentally waking up
Matty J, my housemate while we were in Victoria. Actually there were
too many people in the room. A guy called Michael who only came on
this leg of the tour because he had broken up with his girlfriend, Rhys
and our driver Dunners. All we had in the room was two single beds and
a couch. It wasn’t the most comfortable sleep I’ve had, but who gives a
fuck about sleeping patterns. Let’s just say that I was just about to go to
sleep and I get a phone call from Alex. He wasn’t making any sense though.
He slurred and rushed whatever he was talking about and all I got from it
was that the police might be in the building. I didn’t know what it meant.
As far as I knew Bam, Nikki, Chad and Alex had gone to bed. Boy was I wrong.
I can only tell you my memories about this story as I was asleep and didn’t
exactly know what was going on. I put my head down and slept for about 30
minutes until I hear a knock on the door. I slowly woke up shirtless and only
in my boxer shorts, stumbled to the door and opened it. Standing there were
three police officers and the hotel manager staring at a semi-erect penis thr-
ough my small boxer shorts. I was clearly thinking bad thoughts in my sleep,
but they were definitely not impure enough to get arrested. I was so confused,
embarrassed and fucking tired. Whatever Alex mumbled into the phone earlier
is why the boys in blue were ready to arrest me. It’s funny, they asked if I was
Brandon Margera. Clearly they could see that everyone in this room was fast
asleep and not involved in anything worthy of getting arrested. The police leave
and 20 minutes later they knocked back on the door and made me go to level 8
with them, where Bam & Nikki were staying. I put on pants and a shirt and foll-
owed them up, half asleep.
Bam came out of the room angry and yelled at the police and hotel management
saying that he hadn’t done anything wrong. The main cop was a tall, dark haired,
middle aged guy who had no idea who Bam was. The other was in his late 20s
or early 30s and once Bam slammed the door in their face said to the main cop
“you know who that is right?”. Sorry I keep calling him “the main cop” but I
have no fucking clue what the technical name for a big boss cop is. Sargent?
I don’t care I’m going to keep calling him the main cop. Actually I’ll call him
Murtaugh. So Murtaugh did not give a shit who Bam was and had the hotel
management, a small Indian fellow, open the door up. He asked Bam to come
out into the hallway and talk. “All you need to do is come downstairs and apologise
mate” said Murtaugh. Bam said that there was no way he would apologise.
“What are you going to do?” he said to the younger cop, who I’ll call Riggs.
“We can arrest you right here” said Riggs, in quite a nervous tone. “Arrest me
for what?! You’re a rookie. Look at you, you’ve got no idea what to say” bam
yells to Riggs. “You’re speechless! Why aren’t you saying anything?” he continues
with his eyes drunkenly looking right into Riggs eyes. Murtaugh wasn’t having
any of it though. “Are you really going to speak like that to the Victorian Police?
I don’t give a shit who you are” Murtaugh yells. “Don’t bring a rookie cop with
you next time” Bam quickly replies. “I think a few hours in lock up is what you
need mate” said Murtaugh. I tried following Bam into the lift with the two police
officers. “Fuck off or you’ll come to the station too!” said Riggs, who by this time
stepped up and was absolutely getting sick of Bam calling him a rookie cop. I
have a feeling this cop was once a fan of Bam judging by his nerves of when
he first met him – but he probably isn’t any more. The police wouldn’t let any-
one come into the lift. Myself, the hotel staff or Nikki were told we could not
join them on the way down.
I took the next lift down and before the doors opened I could already hear the
yelling and swearing in the hotel foyer of Citadines, Melbourne. Murtaugh
comes straight up to me and says “get him the fuck away from this building
or we’ll arrest him”. I grabbed Bam by the arm and said “man, this is fucked
let’s just go somewhere and get a drink”. He was a little hesitant but followed
my instructions, and joined myself and Leon Hill (the publicist) through the
exit. “I need a smoke first” Bam demanded, and low and behold there was a
fresh smoke on the ground. That was fucking lucky because I wanted him to
get the hell out of there as soon as possible. “Just fuck off” Murtaugh kept
yelling, and that is exactly what we did. We ran for about 3 minutes before
jumping into a taxi. Why did we run? No fucking idea, but I’m not exactly a
fitness freak so that took it out of me. We drove to a dive club called Revolver
and we were all greeted with open arms by the security. They quickly made
us a private room, gave us unlimited free drink cards and the room filled
with hot women within 20 minutes, after a quick interview bam did explain-
ing what had happened. We also sold an extra 100 tickets in each city.
This was my first night with Bam and I haven’t even begun to talk about the
actual concerts or my experiences with Brandon Novak.
It wasn’t exactly the arrival of Novak that made things go downhill, but he
certainly oiled up the wheels to its descent. I still had never met him and to
be honest didn’t know too much about him other than the fact he was famous
for being a fuck up. He was instructed by Alex and Bam to not touch a drop of
alcohol or have any drugs before and during his flight. This made my first imp-
ression of Novak a really good one. Not many people, certainly no one in Australia,
really got to meet a sober Novak. He was so polite and kind hearted. I was shock-
ed and so happy. That night I told Alex that I was really glad that he came along
on the tour. He was fine after one bottle of wine, but unfortunately for someone
like Novak one bottle is too many and a thousand isn’t enough – a little bit like
myself. The difference is that I can handle my alcohol normally and know when
to call it quits. I am notorious for just suddenly leaving a party, or “smoke bomb-
ing” before anyone knows that I’ve left. This isn’t about me though, this blog entry
is about the Australian Fuckface Unstoppable tour in January 2013.
Chad Ginsburg was one of the most professional people I have ever worked with,
and he taught me a lot along the way. He saw my stress and helped me out when-
ever I needed help. If I instructed the group to be in the lobby of the hotel by 11am,
he was there 15 minutes earlier. It was sad to see him leave the tour but there was
just no way he could watch his friend drink himself to death. It probably took us
about three days to click and trust each other but I was so fucking glad he came.
“I’ve been touring for 20 years and have never left, ever!” said Ginsburg, sitting
on the floor of my house in Brisbane, Australia.
Anyway I am going back and forth. I still haven’t touched on one concert, but let’s
just say things went really downhill from the first night. On the way to Ballarat I
had a really important phone call to make so I sat at the front of the tour van. Keep
in mind I was working on working permits/visas for another tour for a promoter
friend of mine, while trying to keep this whole mess together. Halfway through the
phone call I suddenly get sat on by a naked Nikki Boyd, with her arse right on the
cheek of my face. I hear everyone laughing hysterically in the background while
my face turns bright red. I stutter on the phone and try to keep my tone serious
while she’s trusting on me. Holy shit this was not going to be an easy tour. I’ll end
this blog with a picture of us driving to Ballarat – our first show. But I also want
you to know that you should stop reading about all the bullshit. I think I’ll be the
only honest person, and I was the closest one to do so. I’m hoping by the end of
these blogs you will love Bam, Chad Ginsburg, Brandon Novak, Louie Kovatch,
Nikki Boyd, Matty J, Alex Flamsteed, Leon and everyone else who made this tour
possible. My intention is to shed light and destroy or tone down the rumours that
were spread around this tour. Of course you can make your own mind up, but you
may as well listen to someone who was there throughout the whole journey. A
journey that hasn’t even finished yet.
image of tour van selfie:
https://web.archive.org/web/20130220003408im_/http://glennsguidetoevery
thing.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/cf2a141a711e11e2bec722000a1f8c33_7.jpg?w=602
==================END PART 1================================
////////////////[Part 1.5]\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
February 20, 2013
Say No, Novak!: The Best/Worst Tour Of My Life – Part 1.5
Firstly I have to say thank you for all the positive feed-back and comments from my readers
who want me to keep writing about this trip. I’m currently in this little town in Australia
called Nimbin. As soon as you mention to anyone in Australia that you’re going to Nimbin
straight away they think you’re going to buy some cheeky grass or mushrooms. Here’s a
tip – don’t do Mushrooms on tour. As I was writing this first paragraph my friend sent me
a text telling me she had a bad day at work, so I tried to send her a picture of a Rooster
that’s in the café I’m drinking a latte at – Rainbow Cafe. But the Rooster left, so now I
should get back to the story and stop trying to get off track.
image:
Brandon Novak as Pill Collins
https://web.archive.org/web/20130224053327im_/http://glennsguidetoeverything.files
.wordpress.com/2013/02/novak.jpg?w=300&h=199
In the introduction I mentioned that Bam was going to go either way, but I forgot to mention
what I believe the other way Bam could go. I said that he could self-destruct but then didn’t
talk about the positive outcomes that could and should be.
Bam’s not an idiot – not in the slightest. When people drink too much and all the time the
public can only form an opinion based on their own experiences. We’ve all fucked up the
same amount or more than Bam has but we’re just not in the public eye. Unfortunately for
some time now people of all ages, races and creeds have seen Bam as an influential and
inspiring person – someone they can look up to. “Bam was about being a straight edge
skateboarder. This isn’t him” said April on a worried phone call across the other side of the
world. When I signed on to help manage and organize this tour I strictly told them I want
absolutely no involvement with money, but when shows were full and hotels were getting
damaged there needed to be some conversation with April to see what the hell was
happening. I don’t want to get too involved with the admin and accounting sides of the tour
because it’s boring and no one else’s business except those involved. So let’s move on…
My first ever experience with Bam was in 2010 when my company toured Chad and Jesse’s
band cKy. I was organising a Guttermouth tour and Alex was organising the cKy tour, so I didn’t
get to know anyone too well. A few weeks out before the tour Bam had decided that he wanted
to join – which we gladly accepted to help promote the event. I didn’t get to know any of the
cKy guys too well at the time. It was only the Fuckface Unstoppable tour where Chad, Matty and
I got closer. That’s pretty much how Alex got to know Bam. To be honest I didn’t know what
to think of him. He was polite to his fans, and the general public but at the start was pretty
distant towards me. What caught my eye was how “normal” he seemed, for lack of a better
word. When I arrived in Sydney I met Alex and the tour party down in the hotel lobby to
get ready for the show at The Manning Bar. This is what shocked me: He picked up an Amp
and put it in the back of a van, then continued to help move gear into the touring van. This
might not seem like much to you, but for someone who has toured a lot of international or
national bands around the country it’s sometimes how you can tell if someone is a good person.
In 2009 the lead singer of New York’s Leftover Crack made me look for special medicine that
stops fish from getting headaches – how the fuck do you know when a fish has a headache?
“oh man I just can’t deal with going to work today as a fish, I have a massive headache” says
a fish, never! Get fucked. They don’t get headaches, and spending a few hours in Perth,
Australia looking for such a medicine made me realise that I’ve gotten myself into a hard world
– the music industry.
That was my first experience of Bam 2010. Bam 2013 is a whole new ball game, baby. A lot of
my mates asked if I was excited for the tour and my only response was “I’m nervous”, which
I was. Bam by himself would be somewhat of a handful; now add a splash of Alex and massive
dose of Novak and there’s a recipe for contrived anarchy that for some reason they keep
getting away with. But for how long? How could one person possibly manage this group without
going insane? I am currently in Nimbin in a Camper Van someone gave me, the night before I
was in Coffs Harbour drinking home brew Rum and I still haven’t faced reality back in Brisbane.
In other words I think I went insane.
Remember that scene from Wayne’s World 2 where Del Preston says “So there I am, in Sri Lanka,
formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o’clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill
a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn’t go on stage that night.”. I had numerous requests like that or
Bam wouldn’t get on stage that night, and they were mostly asked by Brandon Novak. At around
3.30pm, one afternoon before the Sydney show in Coogee Bay, I get a text message from Novak
using a strangers phone that reads “Bam needs a bday cake for nikki, no questions asked or no
performance .. you get it”. Here’s a screenshot:
image:
Text message from Brandon Novak
https://web.archive.org/web/20130224053327im_/http://glennsguidetoeverything.files
.wordpress.com/2013/02/photo.png?w=200&h=300
I got the cake with ‘Happy Birthday Nikki” written on it within 45 minutes and I think it was
that moment where Novak started acting like a diva towards me. To be honest he didn’t add
that much value to the show apart from a pretty funny rendition of ‘In The Air Tonight’ aptly
changing Novak’s name to Pill Collins for the performance each night. We were driving to the
hotel from Ballarat after the show when Novak first made the van laugh with his high pitched,
out of tune version of the classic Phil Collins. Apart from Ballarat, Pill Collins introduced the
band every single night wearing nothing except whatever Bam told him to. “What do I have
to wear tonight?” Novak asked Bam, whose only job seems to be whatever Bam tells him to
do. “That fucker crashed my $100,000 car so now he has to pay me back” he said to the crowd
one night. “I’m going to give $10 to each person who punches Novak in the fucking face” he
continued. My point is that Novak didn’t add too much to the show. After his naked performance
he just sat down and drank red wine before occasionally getting punched in the face during
certain songs. Sometimes he made a little joke here and there, but for the amount of money it
cost to get him into the country, feed and house him – wasn’t worth it. “Alex is getting his
dick tasered on stage anyway, so what’s the point of having Novak” said Chad Ginsberg,
one drunken night in Brisbane.
It wasn’t just Birthday Cakes on request; it was losing items everywhere he went, asking hotel
management for drugs, high out of his head while police are trying to escort us out of the
building and so much fucking more that did nothing but make my job harder and cause drama.
In his first night in Melbourne he came into the “quiet” hotel room at 7.30am, turned the music
on as loud as it could go and yelled “we’re raging” while spilling red wine all over the floor. If
it wasn’t for me having some sort of sexual chemistry with the receptionist then we would have
been fined a hefty cleaning fee. I sound like a massive dickhead saying “sexual chemistry” but
it just seemed like that. It was also confirmed a few days too late that we both felt the same way.
Like I’ve said in the past, the problem with these tours is you meet hundreds of people and only
ever stay close friends with a few. She’ll be on my list of lifelong buddies, but I doubt I’ll see most
of the people that sucked up to me or pretended to be my best friend while I was in the company
of A-list celebrities – bordering on the cusp of B if they don’t change a few things before it’s too late.
Novak has an amazing book and showed my friends and I parts of what seems like a great
documentary about his life. But what’s the point of putting something out now if there’s no ending
to what he’s doing? He needs to get clean, have a shower and show people how he overcame the
horrible dramas that he has been through in his life. Show something positive to the audience man,
why release this film that has so much potential without any conclusion? If he acted like he did
when I first met him (sober) then he’d be in a much better position in his life now.
Sorry this is so brief, but I have only 6% battery life left in Nimbin and a Van full of rain. Please
add my facebook page to keep up to date. If you follow me on Instagram (@glennstewart) you’ll
see why these blogs are coming so late. Here’s a picture of where I am staying -
image:
https://web.archive.org/web/20130224053327im_/http://glennsguidetoeverything.files.
wordpress.com/2013/02/nimbin.jpg?w=300&h=300
==========[End Part 1.5]==========================
===============[Part 9]==========================
April 24, 2013
The Babysitters Club: The Best/Worst Tour of my Life – Part 9
I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get to take the Seaplane to Magnetic Island, but at the
same time I needed some space from most of the group. Rhys decided to come on the drive
with me, so it was nice just catching up with a real friend for once. He actually has some very
great, raw footage of parts of this tour that I’m sure he’s dying to show everyone – but we’ll
talk about that later. The drive from Airlie Beach to the ferry stop took about 4 hours but it
was great taking an extended break from mayhem so I didn’t mind just sitting there and
driving. We were so relaxed in fact that we missed the first ferry over, so we decided to get
an overpriced, crappy pizza and share some beers. That made us even more relaxed so we
missed the ferry after that as well. We didn’t actually get onto the island until around 10pm.
I started not giving a shit about this tour at all – as you can probably work out while the blogs
progress. The guy working on the boat explained what had happened earlier. “the guys jumped
off and were only inches away from smashing their heads on the side”. He was worried also
about the safety of others. “If anything happened one of us would have to jump in and attempt
to rescue them. Not only that, it’s infested with sharks”. But this group seems get away with
anything because of luck, balls and lack of care – and I think that’s some pretty good traits to
have. On this trip I didn’t even have the balls to pull a helpless fish from my hook just because
I felt bad for the little bugger. “He’s suffocating” tom yelled out, making me feel even worse.
Turns out I’m not a fisherman, but it also turns out I’m not going to run stupid tours like this
again. Hell, I don’t even know if I want to tour manage again. I like doing the paperwork, the
bookings and the partying but I don’t like my role as a stressed babysitter – otherwise known
as tour manager.
Still it wasn’t surprising that people were banned – nothing surprised me anymore. Leon had
rejoined the tour which was great because I hated trying to get Bam to interviews/appearances.
He picked us up in this ridiculous fucking car that kind of looked like his regular Mini, but without
doors and not much of a roof. Kind of like a faster version of a golf buggy. Whatever it was it was
bloody stupid but fun. I finally got into the venue where the security greeted Leon, Rhys and
myself before showing us to an outdoor hut where they had made the back-room. The venue
reminded me of one of those concerts on a Girls Gone Wild DVD – or a Snoop Dogg video clip. It
was a stage on a beach, and looking out to the crowd were bros and big ‘ol titties in everyone’s
face. Sorry I had to say Big ‘ol Titties, but it seemed like an apt thing to say given the nature of
the crowd. The sound was kind of terrible because the speakers weren’t lifted up from the ground,
but I’ve hardly made any readers by talking about the technical aspect of a live concert. When
I checked the entire venue properly I got approached by an old friend named Tiff who seemed a
bit pissed off. “Two of the guys (from Bam’s entourage) just came into our room, called us names
and told us to give them blowjobs” she yelled. I knew exactly who it would have been too. They had
been doing it on the whole tour.
http://gogetfunding.com/project/the-best-worst-tour-of-my-life
I remember touring this guy who had written a book. We were in a busy hotel room and this girl
seemed like she was pretty interested in staying and having some adult fun, but she wasn’t paying
any attention to the other guy. He leant over, with his breath smelling like he had been drinking
for days, and whispered “let’s go into the room and have a threesome with her”. This is not an
uncommon thing to happen on tour. If you know my history of bands I have worked with I can
pretty much guarantee that at least one member from a band has tried to have a threesome.
Anyway, we got into the room, sat on the bed and waited for the girl to come into our room. Just
before she does he points down at his bag and says “quick get the book out and put it on the bed”
– as if there was no way she could resist fucking a published author. Although I do admit if I see
a cute girl and she wants to hear a song I know how to play on guitar I get a little bit excited. Is
that the same thing though? I don’t know that many songs so it really hasn’t even worked in my
favour. Although I did kiss a girl once after playing country songs all night! Fuck I have to stop
talking about myself and move on.
image: Leon and I driving to Townsville to reach the Ferry
https://web.archive.org/web/20130522045921im_/http://distilleryimage4.s3.amazonaws.com
/47fd3a986dd711e2952822000a1f9695_7.jpg
In my opinion it was probably the worst sounding show but one of the most fun – but like I said I
didn’t care too much by this point. Matty J seemed really disappointed after this show and he
wanted to talk to me. I tried to give some words of encouragement. “Man there was barely 200
people here and they were all on holiday, I doubt they’ll tell the world how shit this show was”
I said as he leaned against a fence. It gave him some comfort but I think he was having mixed
thoughts about everything. He had broken up with his longtime girlfriend, he wasn’t sure what
cKy were doing even though he mentioned they had really promising new recordings and he
still hadn’t been paid for the show. He agreed with an amount over the phone with Bam to continue
the tour but after he sold a guitar the money was taken. I’m sure they sorted all of that out and
I want to move on completely about the money side of things, but whatever it was or whether it
was a mixed feeling about everything – Matty was pretty depressed this night.
I still hadn’t seen the place where we were staying but after the show we all went there and it
was amazing. It was easily the nicest place we stayed in and luckily for me it was treated with
lots of respect. The only annoying thing about Magnetic Island is that everything shuts after 12,
and there is nowhere to get food at all. I was so fucking hungry. Louie showed me a secret room
where we could hideaway and get a good night sleep away from all the drunks, but Alex and
Novak also wanted to room to do whatever they hell they wanted to do. After a few arguments
Louie and I decided to go into another room and lock the door. He was starting to get over it all
as well and just wanted sleep and to relax in a place he hadn’t been to before. One of the best
things I got from this tour was a new friendship with Louie and one that will get even better
once we don’t have so much other weight on our backs. We’re even talking about road trips
together in different countries. We just got along so well and had a lot in common when it came
to arts and culture. This blog isn’t about our Bromance though.
image: Bam & Novak chilling out in Magnetic Island
https://web.archive.org/web/20130522045921im_/http://distilleryimage6.s3.amazonaws.com
/731334e26d9d11e29ae122000a1f9a03_7.jpg
Everyone seemed a little pissed off when we were in the hotel room because there were 20 people
and they were all dudes. “Let’s get some fucking chicks” I kept hearing all night. Fuck that! Let’s
get some sleep. The next day we had to drive to Cairns and it was a long drive. Because Alex and
Novak weren’t allowed on the ferry I thought it’d be a good idea to have myself drive part of the
crew up and Leon drive the rest after they somehow got to the island. But Bam was adamant they
we all had to stick together, so he got a speedboat for Novak and Alex to get onto as soon as
possible. We all met up at the Casino and Matty convinced Bam to sit down with Alex, myself and
him so we could talk about money. When I told them the situation he couldn’t believe it until I
explained properly about how much was going to waste. Bam quickly went into business mode and
things seemed to be a little bit better once he realized what was happening. He even went up to
Novak – “Don’t ask Glenn for anything, it’s not his job. You owe me money from the tour, you’re not
getting anything more” he yelled. Novak basically looked down at the ground like a puppy dog and
said “OK”. Things now seemed to be cleared up slightly on that side of things but I knew it was still
a mess. No other business, tour manager or anyone with a brain would touch a tour like this if they
knew what was in store. They took so long drinking and doing nothing at the Townsville Casino. All
day I kept trying to tell people we had to go but they weren’t interested in moving too fast even
though it was late afternoon and the next show was that night – 4 hours away. On the drive down
I got a text from the venue manager that said “where are you guys? We’re not allowed to make
noise after 10pm”. By this time it was 7.30PM and we were still 3 hours away. I organized this show
one week into the tour so didn’t have time to check the playing times, but we usually started at
10.30pm, not had to clear out by then.
That night the weirdest thing happened – the guy who was supposed to look after the accommodation
told us that he had lost the key and to just kick the door down to the room. This didn’t make sense!
It turns out the guy was high as fuck on acid and had no idea what was going on. Bam went along
the hallway to a room he thought was mine and kicked down the door. Unfortunatley it was the
venue manager’s room and he wasn’t too fucking happy. He jumped out of bed, went over to the guy
on acid and pushed him to the ground. For this whole tour we’ve been kicked out of every fucking
hotel, now we can’t get in because the guy with the keys is on acid?
I love Cairns.
I’m almost in Airlie Beach where I will finish off these blogs completely over the next week. Please
stay tuned because there are still 4 left!
So, we didn’t realise that fuel would take so much money from us. We’re getting about 300kms out
of a tank that costs $100 to full because of the stupid prices in the outback, but it has been fucking
amazing. If you want to donate $1 please check out the funding website, if you chuck in more than
$5 you’ll get a handwritten postcard from myself. I’ve nearly written 50 already! If you want to know
more about my outback trip please check out my other blogs. http://gogetfunding.com/project/the-
best-worst-tour-of-my-life
Sorry these have been a little short on detail. I’m about to finish this off completely and get advice from
a lawyer with what I can actually put up.
To follow more of my journey go to:
Instagram (@glennstewart)
Twitter (@glennstewarts)
image: Met her at the show. One of many attractive people in Perth.
https://web.archive.org/web/20130522045921im_/http://distilleryimage11.s3.amazonaws.com/
35ad9a1a70d711e2959322000a1f9d56_7.jpg
============[End Part 9]=========================
==========[Q&A]=========================
June 25, 2013
Question & Answers about the Fuckfaces
I have been getting so many emails lately about the Bam tour so I thought I’d just start answering your
questions online, as they’re pretty similar. If you have anything you want to ask please email glenn@
japan.com or follow my twitter (www.twitter.com/glennstewarts)
Ryan Shores is a Comedian and Author from San Diego who stumbled upon my blog. He has asked the
following questions -
Chad left because bam was treating him poorly. What was he doing to treat him poorly?
The amount of partying was beginning to take its toll on everyone, and when you’re on a high from drugs
or whatever you’re doing you’re going to have to come back down. By the end of the tour the “boring”
people, a coined termed by Matty J, one of the “boring” people, had just about had enough. We were so
exhausted and we couldn’t wait for the tour to come to an end. Bam was getting angry that we didn’t
show up in time to record a song, and by the time we got to the recording studio the “boring” people
waited around doing nothing. I guess Chad probably felt fed up that he was wasting his time going to
recording, when we all needed to just relax for a day. Everything that happened on that tour was so
spontaneous and all pretty new for everyone. The concerts that were happening in Australia were a
lot different than the ones that were happening in the states before they came out here. The band told
me that it was mainly Bam doing signings, and then they’d get up and play a few songs. The whole
“Pil Collins” thing, and pretty much most of their set throughout Australia was all thought about on the
van rides on the first few shows. While it’s all fun and games for Bam to prance around and being a rockstar,
most of us had bills to pay or jobs to get back to. After watching shows like Entourage you’d think that if
you hang out with someone like Bam it can be all glitz and glamour – but it’s not always the case. Matty J
was unemployed and going back to do odd jobs and laboring (even though I think he has now joined on
as a fulltime member), Chad was going back to work on music, Louie works in fashion and I had left my
Film course a couple of months before the tour to help organize it (which I regret!!). Not all of us have
the luxury of being Peter Pan with a credit card.
I liked having Chad on the tour but you could tell he wasn’t enjoying it. It was hard to manage and hard
to maintain anything, but you try telling someone like Bam to do anything. You tell him a T-shirt is black
and he’ll tell you it’s white – and make a drama out of it. Bam made out he didn’t care if Chad left the
band, but at the same time didn’t think he would. Chad left because he had better things to do than be
treated like shit on the tour. I wish I left as well because it has caused more drama in my life than anything
I’ve ever done. In saying that; I’m glad I met some special people along the way.
What happened when Alex was confronted by his parents? Did the tour end, or did you guys find another
guitarist and drummer?
Alex convinced his parents that it was mostly for show, which a lot of it was. I wanted to have an intervention
with Alex and people close to him before he went to Canada, but it never fucking happened. I regret that a
lot for personal reasons. I wish I was stronger and made the intervention happen. The tour continued.
Matty J moved to guitar and then a collection of people had a turn at bass (Rhys, roadie, Louie etc).
Also you mentioned that when bam flipped out on that drug dealer in the hotel room for lying about what
kind of drugs were being used, there was more to it that u didn’t want to put on the public blog. Lastly,
why’d you take the whole story down?
He flipped out at Novak for lying about the type of drugs he took, not the dealer himself. I was annoyed
by every drug dealer on that tour for a few reasons, but mostly because they made everyone’s job harder.
I was recently approached by a really good editor who wanted to send my story on to literacy agents that
he knew. I am going to beef it up a little bit, and give a lot more detail. But before anyone gets their hands
on it I want to send it to the whole group, including Bam, because I think it potentially portrays a positive
light for everyone involved – and I don’t want them to be angry because they’ve heard only parts of what
I’ve been saying. I took it down because of a request from family members of a couple of people. While I
think they’ll create more drama themselves without adding my fuel to the fire, I think that I have to respect
their wishes – even though I get pretty annoyed that I was getting treated like shit for over a month. I imagine
if they got pissed on they’d be pretty angry at life as well. I expect Bam to not care about what I write, but
most importantly I really want April’s approval first – something I don’t think I’ll get.
Twitter – @glennstewarts
Instagram – @glennstewart
=========[End of Q&A]===========================
===================[LINKS]=====================
https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsTalkBam/comments/1ew3vly/ffu_the
_drunk_promoter_glenn_stewart_blog_about/
https://web.archive.org/web/20130220003408/http://glennsguide
toeverything.com/2013/02/15/the-bestworst-tour-of-my-life-part-1/
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